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Answers So Far..

  • Anonymous asked:
    Any advice for a 23 yr old who absolutely hates her job and doesn't see a way out? I've had a couple corporate jobs now and I've just hated them. I eventually want to get my masters and go into another field but for now I feel so stuck working 40+ hours a week at a soulless place wasting my life lol
  • Anonymous asked:
    I went on a date with a guy on Saturday. I asked him. It went well, we had fun and got to know each other a lot, even talked deep and opened up (both sides). The next day we hung out with friends (we’re in the same friendship circle) and he ignored me ALL. DAY. Avoided me. Openly flirted with other girls in front of me. I was gobsmacked. Moving forward I know I don’t want to be his friend anymore and I’m intending to just give him the same energy and ignore him too, but as we hang out so often with our friends I’m wondering what do I do if he brings up the fact I’m ignoring him? Thanks x
  • Anonymous asked:
    Hi Fumi, I love your page and the advice you give as it makes me realise my power and control. I'm 22 and I'm just finding it hard to establish a connection with people that fall between friendship and relationship status and this is really affecting my mood. In my most recent situation, I found myself connecting deeply and romantically with a like-minded person mostly through conversations, sexual encounters, and what I thought was a healthy relationship with loads of communication. We initially agreed that we weren't ready for a relationship and later agreed that we should focus on friendship but following another sexual interaction, I communicated that I needed some distance because the constant on-and-off felt like constant rejection and was beginning to affect my mental health. I thought that this would help preserve any opportunity for a platonic relationship between us but he reacted by blocking me and avoiding me in person. What do you think of this? What do I do in this situation and how do I avoid it next time?
  • Anonymous asked:
    Dear, Fumi, I’ve been in one past toxic relationship in highschool ( I’m 21 atm ) that I’ve learned a lot from but I often romanize men when dating and create the type of person that I think they are and daydream about all these unrealistic situations and in the end they aren’t who I thought the were because I never payed attention to the red flags and who they actually are . I just realized this fact about my self do you know anyways that could help me stop romanizing men/people? Another thing that I tend to do with men when they like me or ask me out is I guess you can say put them on a pedestal where I think that they are better than me or out of my league and can’t see why they like me when they could get someone better than me or better looking . I don’t know if I just have low self esteem or what it is but I wanted to know if you have any advice for me .
  • Anonymous asked:
    I am 23 years old and been into relationships were I lost myself my self worth I always fall for words and instant connection makes my expectations go very high I am a hopeless romantic which makes me feel like I love to deeply and men take me for granted I don’t wanna hope for finding my soulmate anymore but how to remove that hope or be practical enough to raise my standards
  • Anonymous asked:
    Dear Fumi, I admire women, like you who always looks put together. Especially because it’s not an easy thing to do! How do you find the motivation to always look your best?
  • Anonymous asked:
    Dear Funmi, There’s a guy in my life who seems to really like and pursue me. However, I’m not attracted to him (and by attraction, I don’t only mean physically. He just doesn’t inspire any form of like beyond friendship from me. I feel “meh” about him). I’m worried I’ll shortchange myself by giving him space because we like people who like us. I want to hold off and meet other people and strive for a relationship where we are both passionate about each other. I also feel it’s probably immature not to let love “grow”. Please, what do you think? Do I settle for someone who seems crazy about me and will treat me well, or wait? Thank you
  • Anonymous asked:
    Hi i am 22 years old. I was 19 when i was in a relationship that cost me a lot eversince then i met men who were not as great too. I realized when i watched your content, that the problem was me allowing all of this to happen.. I am wounded and shattered, left to pick up the pieces to restore myself. I want to get married in the near future but everytime i think of the pain i was in and currently in. I don't know if its pain or fear but i avoid any relationships with men I want to work on it to establish relationship with myself and people... But i don't know how to completely heal and forget the past What advice would you give to a 22 year old who believes love belongs to the few fortunate
  • Anonymous asked:
    Been together for 8 years. Hes amazing and treats me great. Always makes me a priority and hes commited to me. Im nearly 30 and hes 28, I want to get engaged now, he wants to get married too but maybe getting engaged already is a little too soon for him since hes younger.. i have pressured him (i told him i want to get engaged soon) and it seems hes planning on it but now i feel bad for nagging him and not waiting for him to do it on his own. Help please
  • Anonymous asked:
    I’m noticing a lot of men turning against women for women wanting a man who is a provider. I feel like living in a capitalistic society the pressure is on everyone to obsess over money. Do you think there is a way to support men here but also still be taken care of? How should women be treated? Do we split 50/50?
  • Anonymous asked:
    Firstly, I love you! Secondly, please may you touch on singleness more. Thank you for the reminders to be honest about our desire for romantic love, but what else can us single ladies do to enjoy instead of be so despondent during this era. For me personally, I've just never really had a serious relationship, how do I enjoy my life and not get so caught up in the "I'll never find love, just like I've never truly had an amazing romantic love experience." The girl is really struggling Fumz, please share whatever you think might help me get out of this funk, and continue to not settle, but to do so joyfully.
  • Anonymous asked:
    How do I stop taking a long time to get over relationships that did not serve me? How can I turn those emotions off? I feel like it always takes me way longer than the average person to get over painful breakups and even longer to move on. Hard to embrace the abundance mindset when your feelings are like “yeah there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I really want that one fish”
  • Anonymous asked:
    Dear Funmi, This is not a question, and I hope I don’t waste your time, seeing as you definitely receive these a lot. I just want to say that I am so thankful I stumbled upon your page. I didn’t believe that the fulfilment of another’s calling could hinge upon the fulfillment of ours until I met you. I can say that I will become what I need to be because of you, among other influences. Hearing and witnessing you gave me the courage to walk away from a relationship and other situations that did not serve me. Thank you so much for your impact, and God bless you!
  • Anonymous asked:
    Why do men always try to invalidate your relationship or make you try to defend your relationship to them? Example: Said I had to get my oil changed after work and he chimes in “ohhh your husband doesn’t do that for you????” Like, I refuse to defend my relationship to a coworker.
  • Anonymous asked:
    What are your thoughts on going through your boyfriend's phone even if you don’t have reason to believe he’s cheating? I’ve seen women say they saw 0 red flags for years then went through the phone and he was cheating the whole time.
  • Anonymous asked:
    Love your work! What are your top 5 favourite books?
  • Anonymous asked:
    What to do if the guy your dating is a HVM but he isn’t very attractive ? He is a skinny guy . should I mention it so he can change something about it or would it be offensive to him?
  • Anonymous asked:
    Where to find your future husband? I feel like all I find on dating apps are mean men!

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