Dear Fumi

dear fumi

Tell me everything 👀

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    Hello fumi. Despite having boundries and standards, do i really have to be a bitch in order to get and keep a man?
  • Someone asked:
    In 2020, my (now ex) BFF (36f), had a 10-month affair with my (now ex) husband (44m, attorney, 18 yrs together). She will graduate law school this year, sit for the AZ Bar, and make more money as a corporate lawyer than I now probably ever will. I fault her most for monopolizing my husband's attention to help her study for the LSAT when I needed his support and encouragement as I had recently started a new six-figure New Home Sales career. I lost the new job from the stress of the affair, and was too traumatized to go back. So, the question is: should I file a complaint against her to the AZ Comittee on Character & Fitness about the affair? I have a few witnesses but not much (legally admissable) evidence. Would it affect her ability to pass the Bar? Will they even care? Or should I just let it go and live my life hoping she gets hers one day? Thanks for your perspective!
  • Someone asked:
    In 2020, my (now ex) BFF (36f), had a 10-month affair with my (now ex) husband (44m, attorney, 18 yrs together). She will graduate law school this year, sit for the AZ Bar, and make more money as a corporate lawyer than I now probably ever will. I fault her most for monopolizing my husband's attention to help her study for the LSAT when I needed his support and encouragement as I had recently started a new six-figure New Home Sales career. I lost the new job from the stress of the affair, and was too traumatized to go back. So, the question is: should I file a complaint against her to the AZ Comittee on Character & Fitness about the affair? I have a few witnesses but not much (legally admissable) evidence. Would it affect her ability to pass the Bar? Will they even care? Or should I just let it go and live my life hoping she gets hers one day? Thanks for your perspective!
  • Someone asked:
    I'm currently experiencing a pivotal moment in my life. Recently, I made the decision to end an 8-year marriage after realizing I was in a codependent relationship, trying to nurture a child into a man. While I've accepted that I've invested valuable time in someone who didn't deserve it, I've also recognized the importance of redirecting that time towards my own healing and growth. I'm committed to embarking on a journey of self-development and becoming the best version of myself. Your content—videos, podcasts, and newsletters—has been instrumental in this process. Your authenticity and honesty have deeply resonated with me, leading to significant shifts in my perspective on personal relationships. I understand now that to improve myself, I must first cultivate a positive and healthy relationship with myself. With that in mind, I'd like to ask if you could share some of your recommended books that explore femininity, spirituality, and how to enhance our self-relationship. Your insights would be greatly appreciated.
  • Someone asked:
    I'm currently experiencing a pivotal moment in my life. Recently, I made the decision to end an 8-year marriage after realizing I was in a codependent relationship, trying to nurture a child into a man. While I've accepted that I've invested valuable time in someone who didn't deserve it, I've also recognized the importance of redirecting that time towards my own healing and growth. I'm committed to embarking on a journey of self-development and becoming the best version of myself. Your content—videos, podcasts, and newsletters—has been instrumental in this process. Your authenticity and honesty have deeply resonated with me, leading to significant shifts in my perspective on personal relationships. I understand now that to improve myself, I must first cultivate a positive and healthy relationship with myself. With that in mind, I'd like to ask if you could share some of your recommended books that explore femininity, spirituality, and how to enhance our self-relationship. Your insights would be greatly appreciated.
  • Someone asked:
    Good evening Fumi, I've been following you from Paris and I'd like to thank you for your high-quality content. I'd like to ask you a question. Often in your newsletters and your content, you talk about the fact that it's important to find a man who falls “head over heels” with us and is sure about us from the start. Because even if he doesn't feel ready and change his mine over time, it will never be the same love in the long term. So my question is this: Do you think that "love at first sight" is necessary for deep love over the years? Many people think that love and tenderness are cultivated and become deeper and deeper with time. Do you think this is possible with someone who wasn't "sure at first sight"? Do you think there are couples who have deep love while others “only” have deep tenderness? Thank you !
  • Someone asked:
    Hi, I'm a 22 year old girl from India. I want to start by thanking you, I've never had a sister and your advice seems like what a big-sister would tell me if I had one. My problem- I have had terrible experiences with men. Most men in my life- including my brothers- have breached my trust and sexualized me. I'm at a point where I can't talk to men at all because I fear they have underlying motives. For the longest time, I kept blaming how I look - I'm skinny but curvy in all the right places, beautiful face, naive vibes. But I'm not interested in self-blame anymore. I also don't intend to get uglier or appear less kind. I also don't want to avoid men like a plague for my whole life. How can I start talking to men I don't want romantic relationships with? I need advice on how to just have platonic relationships with men and not necessarily for romantic ones, because the latter seems impossible for me at the moment.
  • Someone asked:
    Is it appropriate to ask a man's salary when you're dating. Would like to also add that my ex hid his salary for months when we were together and it was barely minimum wage and after that I no longer want to be with men who lie about it because there were many other issues too but also don't want to be rude.
  • Someone asked:
    Hi Fumi, I officially ended things with my ex a couple of weeks back after an incident where i felt unsafe by his actions and presence. I come from very spiritual family and my mother along with our pastor seem to believe that despite what i went through it is an attack from the devil. Lol I feel ridiculous typing this but as an African and someone who also believes in God I would really like to get your opinion on this. I am still being urged to give my relationship with him another shot and frankly I'm over it. I have been over it for a very long time. I guess my question is how do i combine spirituality and dating and how do I get everyone off my back. They seem to be of the belief that if I don't marry this guy, I'm never going to have a happy and successful relationship or life. Please advice, thank you!
  • Someone asked:
    Hi Fumi, I officially ended things with my ex a couple of weeks back after an incident where i felt unsafe by his actions and presence. I come from very spiritual family and my mother along with our pastor seem to believe that despite what i went through it is an attack from the devil. Lol I feel ridiculous typing this but as an African and someone who also believes in God I would really like to get your opinion on this. I am still being urged to give my relationship with him another shot and frankly I'm over it. I have been over it for a very long time. I guess my question is how do i combine spirituality and dating and how do I get everyone off my back. They seem to be of the belief that if I don't marry this guy, I'm never going to have a happy and successful relationship or life. Please advice, thank you!