FUMI

Dear Fumi

dear fumi

Tell me everything 👀

If you have ever submitted a question or request to my DM, please use this form to submit it here anonymously! If I select your question for response, it will be published in the “Dear Fumi” segment of my podcast! Be sure to exclude any identifying details that you do not want publicized.

Your question is saved and will appear when it is answered.

Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    on February 18, 2024 11:53 am
    I'm currently experiencing a pivotal moment in my life. Recently, I made the decision to end an 8-year marriage after realizing I was in a codependent relationship, trying to nurture a child into a man. While I've accepted that I've invested valuable time in someone who didn't deserve it, I've also recognized the importance of redirecting that time towards my own healing and growth. I'm committed to embarking on a journey of self-development and becoming the best version of myself. Your content—videos, podcasts, and newsletters—has been instrumental in this process. Your authenticity and honesty have deeply resonated with me, leading to significant shifts in my perspective on personal relationships. I understand now that to improve myself, I must first cultivate a positive and healthy relationship with myself. With that in mind, I'd like to ask if you could share some of your recommended books that explore femininity, spirituality, and how to enhance our self-relationship. Your insights would be greatly appreciated.
  • Someone asked:
    on February 17, 2024 10:39 pm
    I'm currently experiencing a pivotal moment in my life. Recently, I made the decision to end an 8-year marriage after realizing I was in a codependent relationship, trying to nurture a child into a man. While I've accepted that I've invested valuable time in someone who didn't deserve it, I've also recognized the importance of redirecting that time towards my own healing and growth. I'm committed to embarking on a journey of self-development and becoming the best version of myself. Your content—videos, podcasts, and newsletters—has been instrumental in this process. Your authenticity and honesty have deeply resonated with me, leading to significant shifts in my perspective on personal relationships. I understand now that to improve myself, I must first cultivate a positive and healthy relationship with myself. With that in mind, I'd like to ask if you could share some of your recommended books that explore femininity, spirituality, and how to enhance our self-relationship. Your insights would be greatly appreciated.
  • Someone asked:
    on February 16, 2024 4:43 pm
    Good evening Fumi, I've been following you from Paris and I'd like to thank you for your high-quality content. I'd like to ask you a question. Often in your newsletters and your content, you talk about the fact that it's important to find a man who falls “head over heels” with us and is sure about us from the start. Because even if he doesn't feel ready and change his mine over time, it will never be the same love in the long term. So my question is this: Do you think that "love at first sight" is necessary for deep love over the years? Many people think that love and tenderness are cultivated and become deeper and deeper with time. Do you think this is possible with someone who wasn't "sure at first sight"? Do you think there are couples who have deep love while others “only” have deep tenderness? Thank you !
  • Someone asked:
    on February 15, 2024 10:03 am
    Hi, I'm a 22 year old girl from India. I want to start by thanking you, I've never had a sister and your advice seems like what a big-sister would tell me if I had one. My problem- I have had terrible experiences with men. Most men in my life- including my brothers- have breached my trust and sexualized me. I'm at a point where I can't talk to men at all because I fear they have underlying motives. For the longest time, I kept blaming how I look - I'm skinny but curvy in all the right places, beautiful face, naive vibes. But I'm not interested in self-blame anymore. I also don't intend to get uglier or appear less kind. I also don't want to avoid men like a plague for my whole life. How can I start talking to men I don't want romantic relationships with? I need advice on how to just have platonic relationships with men and not necessarily for romantic ones, because the latter seems impossible for me at the moment.
  • Someone asked:
    on February 15, 2024 9:06 am
    Is it appropriate to ask a man's salary when you're dating. Would like to also add that my ex hid his salary for months when we were together and it was barely minimum wage and after that I no longer want to be with men who lie about it because there were many other issues too but also don't want to be rude.
  • Someone asked:
    on February 15, 2024 5:02 am
    Hi Fumi, I officially ended things with my ex a couple of weeks back after an incident where i felt unsafe by his actions and presence. I come from very spiritual family and my mother along with our pastor seem to believe that despite what i went through it is an attack from the devil. Lol I feel ridiculous typing this but as an African and someone who also believes in God I would really like to get your opinion on this. I am still being urged to give my relationship with him another shot and frankly I'm over it. I have been over it for a very long time. I guess my question is how do i combine spirituality and dating and how do I get everyone off my back. They seem to be of the belief that if I don't marry this guy, I'm never going to have a happy and successful relationship or life. Please advice, thank you!
  • Someone asked:
    on February 15, 2024 5:01 am
    Hi Fumi, I officially ended things with my ex a couple of weeks back after an incident where i felt unsafe by his actions and presence. I come from very spiritual family and my mother along with our pastor seem to believe that despite what i went through it is an attack from the devil. Lol I feel ridiculous typing this but as an African and someone who also believes in God I would really like to get your opinion on this. I am still being urged to give my relationship with him another shot and frankly I'm over it. I have been over it for a very long time. I guess my question is how do i combine spirituality and dating and how do I get everyone off my back. They seem to be of the belief that if I don't marry this guy, I'm never going to have a happy and successful relationship or life. Please advice, thank you!
  • Someone asked:
    on February 13, 2024 3:35 pm
    Dear Fumi, despite being completely against it, I cheated on my last boyfriend. I’ve since ended the relationship and taken the time to figure out why I did such a terrible thing. It boils down to a low self esteem and being externally validated. I’ve worked on healing this part of me so it never happens again. But I can’t help but feel a kind of apprehension about future relationships. How do I date without fear? Especially when there’s a track record to make that fear kind of valid.
  • Someone asked:
    on February 5, 2024 7:01 am
    Hi Fumi, my ex and I broke up back in November(I broke it off), no animosity on my end. I reached out to him to ask him about work related stuff and he was a bit hostile. I do not understand why he would treat me so bad even when the break up was not bad. What do you think could be the reason that he is acting this way? Oh he left me on read when I sent him a message later that day asking if he was able to get me the information I had spoken to him about earlier on
  • Someone asked:
    on January 31, 2024 6:24 pm
    I’m feeling pretty burnt out with dating. Thankfully I’ve set some strong boundaries as far as no men allowed at my house and no sleep overs. No rides to or from my house unless we’ve established over a month of consistent dating. This has weeded out a lot of people, or at least shown me an early red flag if they try and press that boundary. I don’t think lonely is the right word to describe how I feel. I have a very busy career, great healthy friendships and I’m becoming more financially stable as someone under 30. However I think I am feeling discouraged with the options I’ve encountered. Thankfully I’ve been able to pick up on things before we get too deep. I struggle with dealing with a lot of married men (who I don’t know are married and I even ask repeatedly and have been shown divorce decree excerpts only for them to be fake). I take it slow, ask the right questions as far as ascertaining someone’s values and making sure they align with mine and really try to do my due diligence in being upfront with communication, letting the man lead and see if they can handle it. However after about a month in there always ends up being some crazy deal breaker, between double lives, exes still in the picture, a history with women inappropriately young (19 when they’re 35+) and even one person getting picked up on a warrant. Between these experiences and that I have a past experience with someone for 9yrs and an engagement that was broken apart by infidelity and so much more came to light once we were no longer on good terms. He was cheating at our wedding walk through/tasting while we were picking out our order of events My question is how do you not get discouraged about 1) the dating pool being filled with so many awful men and 2) that there are men out there who will stand in who they are and aren’t just faking their way through the dating experience
Maha Maven, LLC