Dear Fumi

dear fumi

Tell me everything 👀

If you have ever submitted a question or request to my DM, please use this form to submit it here anonymously! If I select your question for response, it will be published in the “Dear Fumi” segment of my podcast! Be sure to exclude any identifying details that you do not want publicized.

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Answers So Far..

  • Someone asked:
    Hello, I dated a Muslim guy and knew this was wrong according to his religion. He did what he could to let his family know about me but they refused to accept me. We stayed together anyway for about 2 or so years. Within these 2 years he wast Prince Charming. He was great! He didn’t try as much as he used to to get his family’s acceptance but he still did try. Well, I got pregnant and kept the baby. He immediately turned into a monster, along with them. He wanted nothing to do with the baby. I decided to keep the baby and cut him off; he decided to come back and take full responsibility. He’s a great father! We are not married though and he refers to me as his “wife”. I hear your teachings and agree with you 100%! At this point though, I feel like I can’t leave because I don’t want my son to be raised in a broken home. However, I am a good woman and deserve much more! How can I set a standard at this point? It’s hard not to be taken for granted when I have to cook and clean FOR my son and my boyfriend reaps the benefits. How do I put a stop? PLEASE HELP. Also, his Muslim family has constantly bullied me and regardless of the situation he sides with them. Even though he does give me some type of credit, THEY are the right ones every time. I am so sick of this! Please help me! Any advice helps. Thank you!
  • Someone asked:
    Hello, I dated a Muslim guy and knew this was wrong according to his religion. He did what he could to let his family know about me but they refused to accept me. We stayed together anyway for about 2 or so years. Within these 2 years he wast Prince Charming. He was great! He didn’t try as much as he used to to get his family’s acceptance but he still did try. Well, I got pregnant and kept the baby. He immediately turned into a monster, along with them. He wanted nothing to do with the baby. I decided to keep the baby and cut him off; he decided to come back and take full responsibility. He’s a great father! We are not married though and he refers to me as his “wife”. I hear your teachings and agree with you 100%! At this point though, I feel like I can’t leave because I don’t want my son to be raised in a broken home. However, I am a good woman and deserve much more! How can I set a standard at this point? It’s hard not to be taken for granted when I have to cook and clean FOR my son and my boyfriend reaps the benefits. How do I put a stop? PLEASE HELP. Also, his Muslim family has constantly bullied me and regardless of the situation he sides with them. Even though he does give me some type of credit, THEY are the right ones every time. I am so sick of this! Please help me! Any advice helps. Thank you!
  • Someone asked:
    You say you are giving answers with utmost love,but why the sense of perfect person in your speech?
  • Someone asked:
    Dear Fumi, I'm worried that softness and femininity doesn't come naturally to me. I see so many incredible women balance strength and grace so wonderfully, but somehow I struggle with this. I don't know if it's something internalized or something cultural, but I've been told that I always seem a little "intense." Growing up we lacked men in the house and had to make up for a lot of absences in the household, so I'm used to being in overdrive. It doesn't help that my career is high-stress and cutthroat, which also rewards this "intense" approach to life. At this point it seems to be spilling over into my love life too, and I'm worried that I'm scaring perfectly fine men away because of it. Before I thought I'd find a guy who wouldn't mind this part of me, but after a while I need to accept that I'm the common denominator in my dating life and see what I can do about this. You seem incredibly graceful while very clearly being a powerhouse, and I was wondering if you had some guidance to offer for this. Sincerely, Burnt on Both Ends
  • Someone asked:
    Hey fumi I've seen alot of your content from YouTube and Instagram and your just that women that I aspire to be like and I need advice. When I met my now bf we started off as a friends w/benefits situation and a year later he wanted to make it serious. I said yes because on my side I wasn't seeing anyone and from he told me he wasn't either so I didn't see the issue. It's been great I met his family and and he met mines about 3 weeks ago. The curiosity got the better of me and I found out he's been liking his exs photos on insta. He doesn't know that I know. The part that hurt me was that she posted a photo the day after I met his family and he hearted it and it really hurt me. I would have easily brushed it off it wasn't for the fact that it's after I met his family. I don't know what to do. I'm lost. He's been great and I knew since the beginning that he would keep in contact with his ex because he said they didn't end on bad terms, we're adults I understand but after seeing that I question it now. I guess he didn't cheat as far as I know but this really hurt me. He's my first real relationship and this new to me I'd love to have some advice as the older sister that i and many of your followers see you as ❤️
  • Someone asked:
    Dear Fumi, I'm a 21 year old girl from miles away from where you are. I struggle everyday to understand who I am. When I think about my career or passion I can't really think of anything else other than wanting kids and being a mother some day. Sometimes I feel inadequate as an individual because I don't have anything else that I truly feel passionate about. Is it wrong of me that I simply just want to be a mother when I grow up? I don't seem to have many other aspirations other than family. I feel insecure at times that I'm not living up to the independent woman role. And I also struggle with just doing things for myself. The joy I find in doing something for others in my life I don't feel the same joy when I just do it for myself. Do you think all of this is correlated and maybe comes from a place of low self esteem? I don't know. I hope I figure it out as I grow old. Thank you for all that you do.
  • Someone asked:
    How do you handle forgiveness and accepting that your significant other isn't perfect?
  • Someone asked:
    What are your thoughts on dating apps, and do you think it's possible to find true love through them?
  • Someone asked:
    Hello, how are you? What advice would you give to a 23 year old who is currently working on their healing? I can’t afford therapy, what channels, books or blogs would you recommend.
  • Someone asked:
    what qualities should you look for in a friend and what qualities to look out for