Dear Fumi

Dear Fumi When I hear people talk about trusting your own judgment of yourself and knowing yourself so well that you'd deflect outside opinions about who you are, something always comes to my mind. How can I be validated in who I am without being all up in my head. I see it time and time again online when someone is acting seriously wrong and people are trying to point that out but they're so convinced that they can do no wrong. And I'm talking about some serious ill stuff and not just a matter of controversial opinion. I've never been a person to really comment on someone's behavior online or care much but social media works that way and you end up finding out about other people's business, but I think it's applicable in real life too. And I don't want to unintentionally be one of those people. I'm 23 and still figuring myself out so that might be a factor but the idea always come up and it's a conflict between my two minds. My question is how can I really develop a strong unshakable self esteem with that thought nagging me all the time? With love, Ri.

In 2020, my (now ex) BFF (36f), had a 10-month affair with my (now ex) husband (44m, attorney, 18 yrs together). She will graduate law school this year, sit for the AZ Bar, and make more money as a corporate lawyer than I now probably ever will. I fault her most for monopolizing my husband's attention to help her study for the LSAT when I needed his support and encouragement as I had recently started a new six-figure New Home Sales career. I lost the new job from the stress of the affair, and was too traumatized to go back. So, the question is: should I file a complaint against her to the AZ Comittee on Character & Fitness about the affair? I have a few witnesses but not much (legally admissable) evidence. Would it affect her ability to pass the Bar? Will they even care? Or should I just let it go and live my life hoping she gets hers one day? Thanks for your perspective!

I'm currently experiencing a pivotal moment in my life. Recently, I made the decision to end an 8-year marriage after realizing I was in a codependent relationship, trying to nurture a child into a man. While I've accepted that I've invested valuable time in someone who didn't deserve it, I've also recognized the importance of redirecting that time towards my own healing and growth. I'm committed to embarking on a journey of self-development and becoming the best version of myself. Your content—videos, podcasts, and newsletters—has been instrumental in this process. Your authenticity and honesty have deeply resonated with me, leading to significant shifts in my perspective on personal relationships. I understand now that to improve myself, I must first cultivate a positive and healthy relationship with myself. With that in mind, I'd like to ask if you could share some of your recommended books that explore femininity, spirituality, and how to enhance our self-relationship. Your insights would be greatly appreciated.

Good evening Fumi, I've been following you from Paris and I'd like to thank you for your high-quality content. I'd like to ask you a question. Often in your newsletters and your content, you talk about the fact that it's important to find a man who falls “head over heels” with us and is sure about us from the start. Because even if he doesn't feel ready and change his mine over time, it will never be the same love in the long term. So my question is this: Do you think that "love at first sight" is necessary for deep love over the years? Many people think that love and tenderness are cultivated and become deeper and deeper with time. Do you think this is possible with someone who wasn't "sure at first sight"? Do you think there are couples who have deep love while others “only” have deep tenderness? Thank you !

Is it appropriate to ask a man's salary when you're dating. Would like to also add that my ex hid his salary for months when we were together and it was barely minimum wage and after that I no longer want to be with men who lie about it because there were many other issues too but also don't want to be rude.