Dear Fumi | by fumi

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Answers So Far..

Someone asked:

on October 12, 2023 4:59 pm

Hey Fumi, I started dating a really great guy. So far he has proven himself to be very trustworthy and open. He has some friends that are girls, and sometimes he hangs out with them (never just one of them alone). He did casually date one of them in the past, he told me before we started dating (and I had met the friends already). I trust him and the friends, but I don’t know if these situations warrant boundary to or not? Is this something that is a person to person preference? I’d love to hear your insight!
Someone asked:

on October 6, 2023 12:16 pm

How do I properly and gracefully deal with a situation when a genuinely good guy and I have mutually decided to end things. We had a great connection and I do feel bad that things are getting over, and I can’t help but feel like I wish it would not have to end. However, I do know and acknowledge that if it really was meant to be it would naturally progress and work out. And maybe I’m being protected from more heartbreak. I still struggle to process these feelings and I want to deal with it in a proper way so that I do not ruin a good connection with a good person
Someone asked:

on October 5, 2023 1:49 pm

Hi Fumi. Whilst having a tea break at a career convention, this girl asked me to hold her plate. I was like sure coz she was also holding some coffee and I thought she wanted to get a better grip of her coffee. Tell me why this girl started eating, from that plate while I was holding it. So, I asked if she meant me to hold the plate so we could share the food and she said no, which meant she had asked me to hold her plate so she could eat from it whilst I’m holding it. I felt disrespected slightly and immediately became uncomfortable. Usually, I tell people straight up but instead I decided to excuse myself and say I was actually on my way to the restroom. I did this because we have a mutual friend, though my friend and her are much closer. Is my feeling disrespected a sign of drama from my side??? Because she made it seem so casual as if what she was doing was perfectly normal.
Someone asked:

on October 4, 2023 7:24 pm

should i tell anyone i date in the future that i’ve never had a bf before? will they try to use that to their advantage and treat me poorly because they assume that I can’t tell right from wrong?
Someone asked:

on October 4, 2023 6:50 pm

Hi Fumi, I hope you are well. I started speaking to this guy late last year and we have been speaking and saw each other thrice and after some time after our last meeting he went MIA on me but he was still following my SM and he stopped viewing my stories. After 2 months of not speaking, he went back to viewing my stories and then he sent me a message and I ignored it. He then seemed angry and ignored a work message I had sent him. I am so confused right now and I know that if he liked me I would know and not that I am confused, he doesn’t like me. But why does he keep on sending mixed signals?
Someone asked:

on October 4, 2023 12:45 pm

Hi Fumi! I am 26 female and my boyfriend is 24. The age difference doesn’t bother me, as he is a great partner and is so mature , respects me , great communicator etc. my issue at the moment is our lifestyle differences. I am someone who is very clean , loves being active , eating healthy , good with my fiancés and have my “life generally together “. My boyfriend however, is barely active on his own initiative and is someone who eats way too much junk food and stays up late playing video games. Part of my understands this as he is still in his early 20s and me and my female friends were also in not the most mature place at 24 and I’m not one to tell someone how to live their life. My main concern is if this is who he will be forever, or is this just a phase? How could (or should I) say something that this is a concern for me for a long term partner without sounding like his mom? Thank you -TC
Someone asked:

on October 4, 2023 11:46 am

Hi, Fumi! Not a dating-related question, but rather a career one. I was just wondering how the process was for you of figuring out the profession or career you wanted to pursue. Was it straightforward? Or did you start with a certain field, have a change of heart somewhere along the way, and settle definitively with something else entirely? I’m currently in my early 20s, having graduated from my course realizing that the only thing certain was that I was uncertain of that course. If you had switched paths, would/did you ever feel like time was against you? If so, how did you manage/would you have managed?
Someone asked:

on October 4, 2023 11:17 am

Hi Fumi, I am looking for marriage and met this guy through a family friend. We started talking in January but things were very casual and when I asked his intentions he gave me a vague answer of interest. So I let it die out. Then he reached out again a couple months later and I responded, and he said he was travelling to my city and he wanted to meet up. So we met twice and I pulled him up on his communication habits before we parted on the second date and didn’t get a clear answer. He lives in another continent and he is genuinely extremely busy and focused on his career and he is running a startup outside of work, and he’s at a busy stage where he is looking for investors. So I pulled back and stopped talking to him. Then he reached out again recently after a couple of months and this time we spoke on the phone and he told me he has been doing some thinking and I am what he is looking for in a marriage partner and he likes me and wants to take this forward, and he’s willing to get parents involved. I pulled him up in his behavior and he said he was in between travelling a lot and was busy but also has been doing some thinking in the meantime. He’s really taken me by surprise by his seriousness and he’s a great genuine guy. But I would appreciate some advice going forward.
Someone asked:

on September 23, 2023 4:40 pm

Hi Fumi, I’m 24 years old and going through a breakup with a man who promised me the entire world and more.I really thought i’d marry him. any advice for getting through a breakup and general advice for my age? Thank you!
Someone asked:

on August 26, 2023 12:21 pm

Hi i hope you are doing well Do you think that making the first step ( like adding them on instagram ) will drive to a toxic onesided relationship?