Dear Fumi | by fumi

dear fumi

Tell me everything 👀

If you have ever submitted a question or request to my DM, please use this form to submit it here anonymously! If I select your question for response, it will be published in the “Dear Fumi” segment of my podcast! Be sure to exclude any identifying details that you do not want publicized.

Answers to these questions will be featured in my newsletter. Sign up below to see your question potentially answered.

Do not press the submit button more than once. Once you submit your question, please refresh the page to make sure your question has been posted.

Your question is saved and will appear when it is answered.

Answers So Far..

Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 4:04 am

What do you think about dating in your 30s? Is the dating pool too thinned out, so should I lower my expectations/standards? Do you know real life cases of people finding the one in their 30s?
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 4:01 am

What do you think about dating in your 30s? Has the dating pool been thinned out too much to expect to find the one? Should I lower my expectations/standards?
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 3:13 am

How to detach in dating? Where you’re more sentimental than your friends/ex or experience limerence. Especially having anxious attachment previous to that.
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 3:05 am

Dear Fumi, I’ve been seeing a guy for about a month and a week now. All was good and he’s been very consistent. Until very recently when he started acting distant and I reached out and after pushing him, he let me in and told me he had a terminal disease. He told me that he wants to be with me but he doesn’t know if he wants to put me through the emotions burden of being with him.I told him none of that matters to me and I still want to be with him. And so I gave him a week to think about what he wants to do and when time came he told me I’m being impatient and he danced around giving me an answer.Am I being difficult or should I walk away? Because the way I see it it’s either he wants to be with me or not.please help
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 2:52 am

Dear Fumi, I’ve been seeing a guy for about a month and a week now. All was good and he’s been very consistent. Until very recently when he started acting distant and I reached out and after pushing him, he let me in and told me he had a terminal disease. He told me that he wants to be with me but he doesn’t know if he wants to put me through the emotions burden of being with him.I told him none of that matters to me and I still want to be with him. And so I gave him a week to think about what he wants to do and when time came he told me I’m being impatient and he danced around giving me an answer.Am I being difficult or should I walk away? Because the way I see it it’s either he wants to be with me or not.
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 1:15 am

I have always believed in celibacy and finding someone who respects me since late teens. But no matter how much I tried I always got guys who was always into fucking or didn’t liked me enough to have a relationship. Recently I liked a guy. He refused earlier but asked to stay friends and after one year he confessed he likes me too. But after being all mushy for few months he refuses a relationship. I know what happened but despite knowing everything why can’t I take a stand and shout out loud on the face of these guys that the play they want I am not available for.
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 12:46 am

Would you ever consider writing a book? If you did, I would add it to cart so quickly!! Thank you for helping me through my healing journey btw. So grateful for your content
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 12:40 am

How do I set an expectation for myself and my partner about marriage/engagement within a certain timeline? Ideally I’d wanna get engaged or have him bring up marriage within a year into the relationship, then get married within 3 years or so. Do I tell him my ideal timeline, would that go against me looking for “self-initiated commitment” from him since he knows what I’m expecting? What if a year passes and he doesn’t mention marriage, when should I break up and how?
Someone asked:

on June 26, 2023 12:29 am

Been dating this man for 5 years on and off for the last year. We both wanted the same competitive career, and I was hired before him. He has been crushed since. Lots of pressure in our relationship for the next step, like his career, marriage, etc., we both came into the relationship knowing our careers are first. I felt like I did my part to get there and lost respect for him during his time of misfortunes, from not getting a career right away, losing jobs, rejection.. right? Fast forward to a couple months ago. He asked me out on Valentine’s Day, I said yes and since we’ve been trying to work on things…. Taking me on dates, and then he lost his job again! I was liking our time and so i started paying. Got sick of it… and asked him to step up… and thought I’m not even this guy’s girlfriend!! Regardless of the timeline. For me, I’ve kept my options open and dated others because I’m on the fence whether it’s worth the wait… he followed me to my last date and found out his name, called me out on it upset. I’m standing firm in my basic membership asking for gold membership perqs…. Can’t happen unless you pay the price! Then he tells me, he got hired with his dream career!!! Like if he wasn’t so busy destroying what we were trying to build, we could have been supportive. I’m wondering is this is even worth working through… I see like a 3 year investment of GIRLfriend status and I don’t wanna be a girlfriend I wanna be a fucken wife already. Am I fucking up somewhere?!? I feel like I either made him crazy
Someone asked:

on June 25, 2023 11:09 pm

How do I not get attached or look out for a result when dating, till I see that he is going to be a husband I want?