Dear Fumi | by fumi

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Answers So Far..

Someone asked:

on April 24, 2023 3:59 am

Dear Fumi, In one of your videos you touched on the topic of how sometimes girls who put all their time and effort into achieving academic and career heights lack practice in talking to men, especially the ones they find attractive, and you told that it’s important to put yourself out there and develop that skill of communication. It sounds like I reasonable advice and I’d like to follow it, but I don’t know how. It would mean a lot to me to hear from you some practical tips about how and where to meet potentially good men if my work environment isn’t the place to do it. Thank you
Someone asked:

on April 20, 2023 11:01 pm

How to I softly decline a guy who is seeking my attention via dm’s
- Fumi replied:
  
  on May 3, 2023 12:46 pm
  
  Ignore
Someone asked:

on April 20, 2023 11:10 am

I’ve been seeing this guy for 8 months. At the beginning everything was great and we dated for about 3 weeks before he ended it and told me ‘I can’t do the things I want to do if I’m with you…I just can’t handle you right now.’ However, he didn’t end the relationship-like part. Still takes me out, buys me things, cooks for me, spends the night and lets me come over too, but then jokes that I’m using him as a sugar daddy. Literally nothing changed except that now there is no title for my situation and if I show any form of affection to him in public or around his friends he acts like I’m being weird, when maybe five minutes earlier he was being affectionate and sweet and telling me he loves me. This has been going on for about 6 of the last eight months. At this point, I don’t want a relationship, but I don’t want to be in this. This has been going on for so long I don’t know how to walk away at this point, we get on really well but the public eye isn’t allowed to see apparently. How do I leave?
Someone asked:

on April 14, 2023 8:11 pm

Hi do you have any videos or advice on how you lay your wigs? It looks so natural and beautiful and I am at a lost. Thankyou!
Someone asked:

on April 14, 2023 9:30 am

Do you believe in right person wrong time?
- Fumi replied:
  
  on May 3, 2023 12:49 pm
  
  I believe that the right person comes at the right time. Right person wrong time is usually just someone meant to show you what is possible once you have done the work to lay a foundation for you and the right person to build upon when the time comes.
Someone asked:

on April 13, 2023 4:08 pm

Dear Fumi, When I meet a guy (a colleague for example) and want to kind of develop friendship with him first or it naturally develops first for whatever reason, how and when do I know if this friendship has a relationship potential or it has a potential to become a friendzone, in order not to get invested or romantisize things in my head too soon?
Someone asked:

on April 13, 2023 11:18 am

I’m 20, Is being single for almost 3 years too long? Currently I am spending time on myself and bettering myself yet friends around me are getting into relationships and there is no sign of it Coming for me. What can I do?
Someone asked:

on April 13, 2023 8:58 am

Okay so my coworker recently started hitting on me and omfg is he attractive…but we live in separate states. I’m not flying out but he wants to come here. I’m also not available for anything emotional or physical honestly because I got out of an intense trauma bond in November and I’m still trying to heal. He is the first guy that has hit on me and he is attempting to pursue heavily. I love the fucking attention but I know this isn’t right for right now. Maybe in the future? But please tell me how to distract myself because girl I am struggling to resist.
Someone asked:

on April 13, 2023 8:38 am

Maybe you would like to address/ comment on the following. Not always but quite often when I meet a handsome guy and we start having a connection, there’s another girl so called „best buddy” around. She’s obviously interested/ in love with him yet being physically unattractive she’s playing the bestie. The problem is when I start to hang out with someone I can’t really stand the thought that there’s a third person in the equasion… I want to protect my privacy and intimacy with the guy I just met. Oftentimes the buddy-girl insists on getting all the details from the very begginning on (sometimes incl. screen shots and pictures…) she feels entitled to give advices and at the end, when it all hits the toxic level and I don’t wanna tolerate it anymore she feels like she needs to intervene and explain me all the aspects of her best friend (the guy I’m dating) leading to the fact that I get out of this triangle. Do we have to throw the whole man away when he has a girl-bff?
Someone asked:

on April 13, 2023 4:31 am

Hi Fumi, thanks for doing this. I value your perspective❤️ I dated this guy for 2 years, we stayed in the same city for one, then LDR for the other one. The major issue in the relationship was conflict resolution, it was always an emotional rollercoaster. We intended on getting married so we started taking pre-marital classes. I was honestly transformed by the teachings cos I could see my wrongs and the things I need to start doing in other to be a good wife to him. Long story cut short, He broke up with me after the counseling and not one of his friends or his family members that stay in the same city with me, reached out to me even tho they were all aware of how invested we were. It’s been a few months now and I’m trying to heal, but I can’t shake the fact that he probably met someone new abroad and decided to cut me loose now that he’s away from me. Plus his family/friends that I was extremely involved with, not saying a word to me but taking the back door hurts a bit more. How can I let go of all this hurt and betrayal and move on? Was he just pretending to love me when we were together? Was it all a lie? Thank you.